How do you talk to potential consumers about a product or service when it deals with something people generally find hard to discuss?

That’s a question I’ve asked this week of a number of business owners who are working in ‘touchy’ fields, and marketing products related to everything from sex to death.

Michele Surcouf, founder of organic personal lubricant brand FlowMotion, is one such business owner. Due to her own chemical sensitivities Surcouf was concocting a whole range of personal products, mainly for herself, when she hit on the recipe for FlowMotion as she was trying to make a hair gel.

She says the personal approach has been helpful in getting her message across about FlowMotion to potential customers.

Read more… 

Blog by nzgirl / Sponsored by FlowMotion

Most relationships start out strong but life has a habit of getting in the way of romance and challenging even the strongest relationships.

When we truly connect with someone we love, our relationships become stronger and our lives as a whole become richer. Even though most of us yearn for a loving connection with our partners, it’s not always easy to achieve.

That’s why we’ve teamed up with Flowmotion to share our top tips for building a loving bond that lasts.

1. Connect With Yourself
If you want to truly connect with your partner it’s important to have a good sense of who you are. If you’re feeling insecure and/or disconnected from yourself then it’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone else. It’s all about learning to share your love instead of simply wanting to receive love. Psychotherapist Jennifer Kogan told PsychCentral this process involves recognising your reactions and feelings so you can respond to your needs and take good care of yourself. For more on this take a look at 5 Ways To Strengthen Your Connection To Yourself.

2. Be Present
How many times has your partner been talking to you but you’re hardly hearing what they’re saying because you have so much stuff racing around in your mind? You’re there but you’re not really there. This is all too common when life gets busy but it’s important to make time to really be present with each other. When you are truly present with your partner you’re actually looking them in the eye and really caring about what they’re saying. To connect well you need to make time to be more present in the moment.

3. Focus on The Postitives
When you feel good about yourself it’s much easier to enjoy your partner’s positive traits instead of focusing on the negative. If you spend too much time focusing on your partner’s flaws (and let’s face it we all have them) you’ll not only be blinded to their attributes but you’ll quickly create distance and disconnection. So remember to focus on the good stuff and minimise the not so good.

4. Break From Routine
Change is a great way to keep a relationship fresh and exciting. But we often find ourselves stuck in the daily grind and life becomes routine. That’s why it’s important to break out of the hum-drum of our everyday lives once in a while and do something new and exciting together. Maybe it’s as simple as learning a new sport together or doing something you used to do when you first met. The key is to mix it up a little and do whatever you can to have fun together. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves what it was that first made us fall in love with our partner and try and rediscover those feelings. The best connection happens when you spend time with your partner having fun and feeling relaxed.

5. Let’s Talk About Sex
When it comes to sex men and women do tend to speak different languages. Relationship Therapist Jennifer Ryan says men feel more connected to their partners through the act of sex. She says: “He feels loved to his core when you crave him sexually”. While this may not be the case for every guy, she believes it’s really important to make sex a priority because it will make your man feel loved, secure, respected and confident. “Instead of seeing the act as a “duty” or a job, see it for what it is: an emotional connection. Just as women want emotional connection, men do as well, and it can often come in the form of sex.”

6. Work On Your Emotional Intimacy
No matter how great our sex lives, if we’re not connecting on a deeper, emotional level our relationships don’t stand a chance. Finding an emotional connection requires more than just doing what the other person wants too. It’s about really listening to your partner, sharing a laugh, flirting, expressing your love, spending quality time together without always being glued to your phone, and most importantly creating new memories together. Boredom can suck the life out of any relationship so do whatever it takes to keep it fresh and interesting.

Some years ago, I fell in love. I remember the day, in fact the exact moment it happened. My brain knew it was foolish, and everything in my intellect told me (because of the circumstances) it would never work out. But my heart was deaf to reason, and down the rabbit hole it plunged, madly, truly deeply, dragging my kicking-and-screaming common sense with it.

Ultimately, and just as my brain had predicted, it didn’t work out. And still, my heart has never fully relinquished what it conjured up, as if that love had somehow became part of my DNA. I asked myself a million times over, why didn’t reason trump emotion and spare me the anguish of love unrequited? And yet I am infinitely thankful for the experience.

We’ve all heard the songs, read the poems and literature, and viewed the art. We love with our hearts, we feel joy in our hearts, and we can have our hearts broken into tiny pieces. But is this talk of the heart just sweet sentiment and colloquialism? Surely our hearts are just hard-working muscles, mechanical-like pumps, secondary slaves to a superior and omnipotent brain.

Our recent culture has ascribed all our thinking and emotions to the electrical and chemical impulses produced by our brains. But it’s possible that the Egyptians were closer to the truth when they considered the heart to be the seat of our souls. The Egyptians would discard the brain (and all the other organs) when mummifying their dead, but left the heart in the body so that it could be weighed in the afterlife. If their heart was deemed worthy, the deceased would be welcomed into the kingdom of Osiris, who was described as the “Lord of love” [1]

Anecdotal evidence suggests that some heart transplant recipients have taken on uncharacteristic likes and dislikes after surgery – characteristics of the people who’s hearts they’ve received. I watched a documentary of a young ghetto rapper who developed a love of the violin, a former couch potato who started marathon running, and a health-fanatic young woman who suddenly craved beer and pizza. All of these new interests were what their donor had loved!

So this begs the question; is it possible that a muscle can retain, not only memory, but emotions such as love? 

Thanks to modern medicine and science, more and more is being discovered about that amazing fist-sized muscle in our chest. And it seems that besides pumping blood, the heart has an intelligence of its own. Joel K. Kahn, MD describes in his article that: [2]

1). The heart communicates to the brain and the body in four ways including: 1) nervous system connections, 2) hormones produced in the heart itself, 3) biomechanical information via blood pressure waves, and 4) energetic information from the strong electrical and electromagnetic fields.  The fact that the heart produces hormones released into the blood stream affecting all of the body was first demonstrated 30 years ago and has led to tests routinely performed in hospitals across the country.

2). There are 40,000 sensory neurones relaying information to the brain from the heart leading researchers to call the heart the “little brain” and to coin the field as neurocardiology.

3). There is actually more information sent from the heart to the brain on a daily basis via these 4 means of communications than vice versa.  Indeed, the neurones within the heart enable the heart to learn, remember, and make decisions independent of the brain’s cerebral cortex.

4). The heart emits an electrical field 60 times greater in amplitude than the activity in the brain and an electromagnetic field 5,000 times stronger that of the brain.

5). The electromagnetic field of the heart is so strong that it not only can be measured anywhere on the body (such as an EKG with electrodes on the ankles and wrists) but for several feet outside the body too.

6). The electromagnetic field of two individuals (human or pet and human), touching or within a few feet of each other, can interact so that energy activity in the heart of one individual is measured in the brain waves of the other.  The act of touch for healing therapies can be postulated to be due to this method of communication.

7). The electrical activity of the heart and the brain can be guided into a synchronous electrical rhythm easily measured and displayed by simply focusing on positive and loving emotions emanating from the heart.  This state of organ “coherence” is associated with improved higher level functioning, lower blood pressure and cortisol levels, and improved immune system function.

According to Rollin McCraty, Director of Research at the Institute of HeartMath [3], the heart’s electromagnetic field interacts with and permeates every cell of our bodies. The heart is an important carrier of emotional information.

So that explains a lot about why the brain’s ‘reason’ is no match for what the heart wants! It also explains why we can’t ‘think’ ourselves into (or out of) loving something or someone.

The heart is so much more than a mere muscle. It is the intelligent, intuitive seat of our emotions, especially love. And love is the most powerful and binding emotion we share.

But what about when love goes awry? 

As painful as a broken heart is, hearts are resilient, and they heal in time. So we should never shy away from love – it offers so many gifts! We can learn so much from love, and we can learn so much from heartache.

A loved one may be transitory, but the love you feel for that person can last a lifetime. So love with no regrets. My favourite poet said it best.

“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” ~ Rumi

Continue to open your heart to love. The heart’s capacity to love is limitless, and love can heal anything.

[1] “The Gods of the Egyptians”, E. A. Wallis Budge, p. 259, Dover 1969, org. pub. 1904, ISBN 0-486-22056-7

[2] http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/story/24239537/the-smart-heart-part-1-7-amazing-facts-about-the-hearts-control-of-the-brain

[3] http://www.heartmath.org/research/research-home/research-center-home.html

Whether it’s mind-blowing, bed-rattling sex you’re after or a more soulful lovemaking session, we could all benefit from a little Kama Sutra 101. While this ancient Indian book is full of bizarre and awkward sex positions, there’s a lot it can teach us about really connecting with our partners. We’ve teamed up with FlowMotion to bring you these four popular Kama Sutra positions to your bedroom repertoire so if you’re ready to up the spice and intimacy levels read on!

1. The Sammukha – the passion position
The Sammukha position is a relatively easy position to get started with, and one you may never had thought to try. In this position, you lean back against a wall and spread your legs as wide as you can. It will mean that you are fairly low to the ground so you may need to stand on something – especially if your partner is tall. While it may seem a tad awkward at first it’s a romantic position because of all of the eye contact.

2. Janukurpara – the pleasure position
The Janukurpara position will probably require your man to spend a little extra time in the gym building up his quads. In this position he lifts you up, locking his elbows under your knees and gripping your butt with his hands while you place your arms around his neck to hold on. This position is allows great penetration which is why it’s often referred to as the pleasure position.

3. Piditaka – the laid-back position
The Piditaka position is a comfy, laid-back position for both partners. In this position, you lie on your back and pull your knees into your chest, resting your feet on his chest as he kneels in front of you. With his knees on either side of your hips, he raises your hips onto his thighs.

5. Tripadam – the fun position
Tripadam is the perfect position for a quickie because it’s all about short and fast fun.  In this position, you both stand, facing each other. He puts his hand under one of your knees and raises it off the floor, turning the two of you into a tripod.  This position does work best if you are both around the same height.

7 REASONS TO LOVE FLOWMOTION ORGANIC LUBRICANT

• It’s 100% BioGro NZ Certified Organic
• Two main ingredients are organically grown – Indian Cluster Bean is a fantastic natural lubricant and Aloe vera has been renown for its healing properties for centuries.
• It’s a water-based personal lubricant that is the healthiest choice, doesn’t stain and leaves no sticky mess
• It’s safe enough to eat
• Is delicately balanced to closely resemble the body’s own natural lubrication
• nzgirl recently asked their audience to test drive FlowMotion Lubricant and asked them if they’d recommend it to a friend – with 7 out of 10 women agreeing!
• 9 out of 10 women we asked either liked of LOVED FlowMotion. Try it for yourself and get yourself a free sample here.

Sponsored by FlowMotion Organic Lubricant

 

Octopuses are intelligent and sensitive creatures. They’re able to change their skin pigment and texture to blend into their environment and display their moods. Whatever an octopus thinks or feels is literally written all over its body. They are the epitome of the naked mind.

While an octopus communicates openly, we have the ability to hide what we think or feel. This human trait can be a good or bad thing, working to our advantage or disadvantage.

There are certainly times we don’t want people to know our true thoughts. To function in societal groups, we need to moderate that voice in our head that would otherwise blurt out something hurtful, rude, or inappropriate – even if we believe it to be true.

But in our intimate relationships, truthful communication is the key ingredient to ensuing both partners are moving together harmoniously.

Yet we often hold back talking about how we feel for fear of having those feelings rejected, laughed at, or minimised. Or we take the other tact and let our frustrations build up until we explode, expressing our wants or disappointments in aggressive, demanding, or damaging ways. Either way, we can end up enduring painful silence or in endless arguments, and either scenario can leave us feeling rejected, hurt, isolated, unheard, and unloved by the people we actually love the most, and with whom we should feel the closest!

So how do we keep the lines of communication open in a relationship? Remember when you first got together and it seemed that you could talk to each other about anything? But slowly that intimacy slips away. Life’s busy-ness, money worries, demands of parenthood, the unresolved hurts and little disappointments, all serve to build up like a layer of soap scum in a shower that is not regularly cleaned.

I’m not suggesting that we adopt the transparency of an octopus, unable to disguise our emotions, but I am suggesting we adopt a policy to get into the shower and lovingly scrub it out occasionally.

The earlier in a relationship you can establish an agreement of not letting life’s ‘soap scum’ build up – by using real and kind communication – the better. But it’s never too late to re-establish lines of communication.

Make a commitment to each other to discuss the issues that come up for you – without judgement of the other. What is most important is that you do it in a caring manner, that you allow each other to speak (or cry, or even rant a little), and that you understand that what your partner says is not necessarily a deal-breaking criticism of you, but an expression of how they are feeling at that moment. Sometimes we just need our partner to listen so we can get things off our chest.

Be understanding, but also remember that we are all responsible for our own feelings. No one can make us feel badly without our permission. Make changes if they will be helpful towards your mutual happiness. And above all, forgive each other the little hurts.

Any couple can work through any relationship issue if both people are committed to the wellbeing and happiness of the other. And occasionally that means stripping down and scrubbing off the soap scum together.

We may not want to have minds that are as naked as the octopus, but transparency in our intimate relationships through kind communication builds trust, encourages emotional and sexual intimacy, and promotes a more loving acceptance of each other.